Change of Mind: Love

In class we watched Once before we began reading Jane Eyre. Since we've watched the movie I have purchased the soundtrack and have listened to it very often. Since I'm either listening to the music or singing it in my head, I've had a lot of time to think about the movie and its effects on me.

When we watched Once we made a list of many observations on the board. What struck me most was the ending of the movie. The guy and girl chose to go back to their significant others and lovers from the past rather than embarking on a new path with someone new. For the girl, this was logical because she had a child with the man. For the guy, played by Glen Hansard, he had love and desire left for his ex girlfriend whom he wrote his music for. So in the end they both did what was "logical".

Hopefully whomever is reading this is as dumbfounded by this as I am. Love, logical? Since when? I understand that some reading this will likely claim I know nothing of love, but be as it may, I never saw love as logical. Classics like Romeo and Juliet are full of love, passion, and rash decisions. Countless other examples in pop culture have portrayed love as reckless and far from logical.

But something about Once made it real. I felt like it was a documentary of sorts where the audience was looking in on lives unfolding. This is where my change of mind occurred. I had always thought, as many do, that love is head over heels, irrational, and overwhelming. While this holds true at times and for certain individuals, this was not the case in Once.

I think that the movie showed the viewer that sometimes what feels "right" isn't always the easy, convenient thing to do. It showed us that in reality, not everyone is heroic and courageous enough to take the leap of faith into the unknown abyss. Sometimes people make the sacrifice to go back to what is familiar rather than taking the risk of ruining everything for something new. 

I think in one sense, it's heart breaking that people can turn away from love. But I understand that and it's not that Once has so much changed my mind, but it has more so opened it. However, sad as the cowardice and caution of the human spirit may be, it's comfortable to know that even when deep emotions are stirring we still have the ability to remain logical and look out for our best interests.

Dialectics: Community and Individual

Throughout history there has been conflict. There have been periods of strong individuals changing things, and there have been times where people have united to make a difference. There are also conflicting views, like socialism and capitalism for the economy. Communism, although arguably impractical and too idealistic, is when the community works for the good of one another. Capitalism caters more to competition and the individual working to better their own specific rank.

On a grand scale, the struggle between individualistic philosophy and that of working for the community is everywhere. There are plenty of examples throughout time and even today where the struggle continues. For me personally, I have come across it often. Lately, I have felt torn because of this struggle that everyone faces.

In my chemistry class, there is a huge emphasis on community. If everyone contributed to the class, the workload would be minimal. However, many people choose to leave it to several students to get the work done. These responsible individuals are left to do more work than is expected, required, and reasonable for them to do. 

When working for the school newspaper community plays a huge role as well. The first day of school we did an activity where we hit one domino and the rest fell down. This symbolized exactly how the paper worked. If one person missed just one deadline, the results could be, and often have been, catastrophic. Everyone needs to contribute their share to help each other out and reach a common goal.

I also started playing lacrosse in high school. I'd always heard about the importance of teamwork in sports, but until recently I was never a part of something like that. I played goalie and saw exactly what it took for us to win. I saw that, alone, there was no way I could save that many shots. However, with the help of the defenders, our team really improved. They helped me and gave their all, and therefore our team won.

However, although many events and experiences have encouraged that sense of community, many others have counteracted that. 

For example, in pretty much all of my classes the bulk of my grade is based on test performance. In many of my classes, too, there is a curve. This means that I am competing with my peers to excel. It's very frustrating for me because I am constantly surrounded with students who are extremely gifted and hard-working. All of these tests and curves not only encourage the betterment of myself individually, but also discourage helping my peers.

I've often seen my friends argue about such matters. I've seen students who wont help other kids in the class with study problems because they don't want to help each other's chances of doing well. 

In one of my previous blogs I wrote about my feelings on collaboration. I think that I do pretty well when working with a group to gain insight together. However, with the current system, that is not rewarded. What is rewarded is individual growth and accomplishment. There is generally little value in reaching a conclusion as a group, and more placed on a conclusion achieved alone.

Although due to the statements above it may seem I am more for the community approach, I am genuinely conflicted on this dialectic. Most recently, I've run into a new conflict on this matter.

On April 25th there is an Invisible Children event in Chicago. This is a cause that has really touched me and I feel very connected to. I've participated in fundraisers for it and on the 25th there is a very significant global event to support the cause. If I chose to partake in this event, I would be doing it for the good of the community and those in Uganda. Although I, as one person attending the event, will make little to no impact, as a group hopefully a lot will be achieved. If everyone had the mentality that I as one person don't matter then no one would show up and thus nothing would be accomplished.

However, I am conflicted because on that same day I was asked to participate in a journalism competition. This competition is also on the 25th therefore making it impossible to attend both. The competition is an individual writing competition. If I did well, I would progress to the state competition. Participating in this would help me as individual. I would likely gain praise from my peers, newspaper advisor, and family. Many have also argued that it would look great for college.

So I am left with the struggle that has been going on as long as man has been around. I'm extremely passionate about both my writing and about the cause in Uganda. If I go to the event for Invisible Children, I will likely make no difference in the atrocities being committed there. If I go to the journalism competition I am not doing what I can to help the global community that I am a part of. I am being selfish in choosing individual gain over morals.

This dialectic has been evident throughout countless experiences both recently and throughout my short 15 year life. I anticipate that many more will come. On both a grand scale and a smaller one, this dialectic is pertinent and timeless.